I am NOT the struggle
So I’ve been sitting on this post for about a week and a half now.
I’ll write some thing down but not post. Rewrite it. Not post it. I think the best way to go about this is just being extremely vulnerable and open with my thoughts on this topic. Oh and just so you know, that topic is anxiety.
My junior and senior year of high school was a really big struggle for me. Not many really understood how stressed I was as a person. To some that may sound silly seeing as I was just in high school. But I think that’s the hard thing about the battle that is anxiety. The enemy uses that tool of his and does not discriminate against any person or any age.
However, I want to make one thing clear. This is something I’m being very vulnerable about and it might rub some people the wrong way. But, here it goes. When it comes to the word anxiety I am very cautious about how I use it. It should not be taken lightly and it should not be generalized. I also make sure that I do not say the phrase “I have anxiety”.
“Why?” “If you have it that’s okay.”
No, that’s not where I am coming from with this. My problem with the phrase is that when I say “I have anxiety” I officially hand over the rights of who I am and what defines me to that term, that phrase, to the enemy. Anxiety does not own me. Anxiety does not define me. Anxiety is not of God.
I’m not ignorant enough to think it isn’t a battle we as people can face. This is why I switch my mentality to, “I struggle with anxiety” or “I fight with anxiety sometimes”. Why? Because that is exactly what it is. The enemy tries to use anxiety to confine/ restrict us. Anxiety isn’t of God. He’s a God of peace, of love, of grace. Therefore, I don’t have it because that isn’t of God, meaning it’s not within me. Speaking on my own behalf, I can say I fight with it. Just like many fight their own good fight or daily challenges.
I had to learn very quickly that the enemy thought that was a fight I would always lose. If I can be really honest...I believed that lie for a while.
On Netflix, there is a show called Alexa and Katie. I decided to watch it and into the second season I saw what must have looked like a bad memory. One of the main characters starts her fight with anxiety in the form of panic attacks.
Without giving too much of myself, I’ll acknowledge that the battle of panic attacks I can say is a part of my testimony. I got to a point where they happened so frequently that it almost felt impossible to escape them.
So why do I write about this? Honestly, I don’t know. But I felt that it was very important I wrote these simple truths down for anyone who came across this.
You are not the battle you face.
If others want to believe your battle is fake or an act, pray for them and know that your battle is yours to fight. They have a fight within themselves that only they can face.
To fight is a daily choice. Just like choosing to follow Jesus is a choice we make daily, fighting the good fight is too.
The enemy holds no stronghold over you.
Angels wage war on your behalf.
You win because He wins.
The enemy wouldn’t be much of an enemy unless he really pulled out all of his weapons to attempt to defeat you. But remember where you stand in comparison to him. He is always beneath your feet.
Fighting isn’t easy. It’s hard. It’s exhausting.
You have armed me with strength for the battle. ~Psalm 18:39
Your faith is a wielded weapon that can face any army of any size and your testimony grows, deepens, will touch the lives of many.
I pray you know that if you felt alone in this fight...you have peace knowing you aren’t.
You are not the struggle.
